One of Those Days

Well today has been one of those days. I feel like i have failed as a mom today. I yelled to much, gave out too many spanks, was frustrated to much, annoyed too easily, not nice enough to my kids and the list goes on. I want to say that i am justified but when it comes down to it I am not. Ethan today just seemed to be stuck on scream mode for absolutely no reason. Not a crying scream but just making noise scream. He is always loud but today just seemed 10x more than normal. My reaction to say the least wasnt ideal. I could use an abundance of patience. He is only 4. We also fought over cleaning his room because he seems to think "there are too many toys." my answer to that was that "i guess we need to throw some away so you dont have too many to clean." Which added fuel to the fire and i received a scream and cry back of "no dont throw them away."

Kaylee seems to think that it is ok to get in the crib and jump even if the baby is in there. She was in trouble several times for that today, i cant seem to get her to stop no matter how many times i tell her. The counter seems to be the place of the greatest view today. Kaylee seemed to be up there all day. And of course my reactions were not ideal.

Taylor was restless today and demanded a lot of attention. She was having a hard time sleeping today and random screams didnt seem to help.

There was salt eaten and spilled all over the counter and floor while i was feeding Taylor, constant fighting between Ethan and Kaylee. Laundry needed to be done due to an "accident" last night, the kitchen was a mess, dinner needed to be prepared early, preschool needed to be done, applesuace spilled on the kitchen floor and somehow in my bedroom on the carpet, kids climbing on the food storage stuff after being told not to, and it seems like the list could go on.

Today was a day the Lord gave me to learn patience and i failed indeed. I need an attitude adjustment and my kids suffered the price for my shortcomings. My response should have been motherly and it was far from it. I sometimes wonder why i didnt keep the role of aunt only but became a mom. I love being a mom dont get me wrong, but it is sometimes so hard. When I start thinking like this i quickly remember the most wonderful joy that i feel because those same kids. those kids that can also cause the greatest frustration bring the greatest joy and accomplishment that can ever be felt. Life would be too easy with out them in some ways. It would be so lacking aswell. i would have nothing to do around the house. what would i be busy doing all day? I wouldnt laugh as much because something was done, or said that was just too cute or too funny or not said quite right which made it funny. Being a mom is to experience life. You get to experience the hardest of hard, and the most joyful of joy and everything in between.

At one of my weak points today Ethan was shouting and screaming by Taylor and I and of course i started snapping at him only to find Kaylee covering my mouth shortly after i started. Then Ethan said "good job Kaylee." This i am glad brought laughter into the room. How humbling it is to have my two year old do this. It made me realize that they knew and felt my emotions too and were frustrated with me and my reactions to them. It is a two way street. I am going to the temple tonight. My kids have helped put me in a better mood to feel the spirit of the Lord. It is quite humbling to know you failed and that you have to seek forgiveness from a 2 and 4 year old. I know that I am inadequate and have many faults. I ask the Lord to help my weakness' become strengths, and i ask my kids and husband to have patience with me. I love being a mom and i know i have improvements to make. I am grateful that they love me anyway.

We started a service jar in our home. Everyday we make an effort to serve someone else and at dinner time we report. When we did some sort of service we put a penny in the jar. At christmas time we will take the money out and buy a gift for some one who needs it, whether through sub for santa or another way. I hope this will put my heart in a mode of service especially toward my family so that i wont have more days like today. I hope that i will serve my family with love and more fully show that love to them. They are wonderful.

Well i have blabbed enough. i have things to go do now and hopefully i will have "sunshine in my soul"

by renee

We went paintballing at my brothers house in september. There was like 8-10 of us out there. We all dressed up in our camo gear and helmets and went out to the trees. Shortly before we called it quits i was one of the remaining "humans" and there were 3 "mutants" headed my way, Rob. Uncle Mike, and Steven. I knew they were coming and i tried to keep quiet and turn around so i could shoot Rob but he saw me and we both fired and he got me on my thigh. This "target" bruise was the result. i had the bruise for a long time. There are still remnants of the bruise and it has been at least 3 weeks. It is the worst paintball wound I have ever seen. We did have lots of fun but man this puppy was as big as my palm at least. It was a pretty impressive battle wound. Especially from my own husband. NO MERCY!!!

here is Mason, Ethan, Gavin, and Kaylee munching on fishies.

They have become good friends this summer. Ethan from the moment he wakes up until he goes to bed would be outside if he could. He often goes from house to house to see which "buddy" can play and Kaylee is usually not far behind him. I am so grateful that Ethan has some good friends in the neighborhood. It is a luxury we didn't really have in California like we have here. We are grateful to be so close to friends and family even though we dont like the winters.

We went hiking a few weeks ago to Donut Falls. It was a nice short hike to a small water fall into a cave. It was pretty neat to see. The kids did really well. there was pretty much no complaining. I guess when you bring starburst and fruit by the foot for snacks most kids are happy. We had fun and were able to make it to the falls. We had someone take this picture for us and it turned out rather nicely this is the falls as it falls through the donut into the cave.

We went for a drive around the Alpine Loop last week. It was so beautiful. We started to hike the Stuart Falls trail but with little kids we didnt make it very far. We hiked for about half hour or so and then had to turn around due to cranky kids. Ethan only said his legs were tired but Kaylee was being impossible for a while. On the way down she hit one point and then was completely happy for a while. I was sad that we turned around. Then she tripped and it was the end of it all. She seemed to fall 5 times or so coming down. She fell asleep shortly after we got

in the car. The colors were so pretty. Lots of yellow and red.

this is our trip to st. george in august


kaylee rarely lets me put pig tails in her

hair so i had to take a picture

Cold!!1

Well we are good. It is cold!!! It was snowing today, not sticking but snowing. it is only September. what am i going to do this winter? Ethan might drive me crazy. He is such an outside boy. Even today it was cold and wet and from the moment he woke up he was asking to go outside. So Rob was supposed to go to Puerto Rico this week but didnt end up going. I am happy!! I love having him home. He will have to go later this month (October) and the first week of November but he is home now. hopefully i will get to go sometime. Especially when it is cold here.

So Kaylee has been coming in our room a lot at night lately. Last night i think she hardly slept due to the storm that rolled through. She decided to wake up her brother at 630 and tell him it was raining. She learns way to much from Ethan though. Lately she says "ever again" like when i asked if they want french toast and Kaylees response was "french toast ever again" this meaning i dont want french toast ever again. Ethan tends to use the phrase a lot. Usually he is mad when it is being said or we are having dinner and like every night he doesnt want what was made. He usually uses the phrase when he doesnt want to eat something "i dont want to eat it ever again
", when he is mad at you "i dont want to play with you ever again," or doesnt want to do something "i dont want to pick up ever again" basically anything can have this attached. He played soccer this year and i had to bribe him to play and after we got there of course he wouldnt go with his team. Any bribe i used was followed by the "ever again" phrase. "i dont want mcdonalds ever again" and "i dont want to play soccer ever again" basically everything is said in this manner and Kaylee is picking up on it. Its funny.

So Ethan has his little "buddies" as he calls them in our circle. Today some were over and they decided to put their socks on their hads like punching gloves and were playing fighting. Luckily no Knockouts. These little boys are so creative. They like to go paintballing. To accomplish this they dress in ethans cammo clothes get an easter bucket for a helmet and the edge of these mats we have that are like a puzzel strip for guns. it is such a sight to see. this summer has been fun to watch these kids. Kaylee tries to get in the action too. its great. They also get their light sabers out too (this involves like 6 boys) and hunt things and fight. they are quite entertaining. i am so glad that they have an imagination.this is Ethan blending in to the tree. Notice how the tree is pencil thin. how funny!!!these two are just toofunny. they are dressed to go paintballing.

Taylor is rolling over. She first rolled over almost a month ago. She is starting to scoot around. We put her in her Exercaucer today and jonny=jump-up. she like it a lot. she likes to be sitting and standing and will do so on her won in no time. she actually sat in them for a while. I was able to vacuum and do other things. It was nice. Well speak of the devil i hear her now. Until next time.....

renee

so i think i will continue the blog (this is renee)

well funny story from last night. Rob is out of town and i was cleaning the bathroom at about 10 pm and i heard Ethan crying which usually indicates that he has to go to the bathroom or he has already gone. so i get him and a and at first dont see anything wet so we walk to the bathroom. i help him take down his pants (he is usually too tired to do anything on his own and really out of it.) i notice his underwear are wet his pants had only a tiny wet spot. i was a little baffaled because when asked if he still had to go he said no. i went and got him some new clothes and then inspected his bed to find it dry. i thought i would check the floor for wet spots (luckily i had gloves on which i use to clean the bathroom) and i found one finally. apparently vents in the floor are toilets because all around the vent and inside the vent were full of pee. who knew. so i had a big clean up job. he had to pull down his pants while sleeping to accopmplish this. amazing i know. i cleaned out the vent as best as i could. i hope all winter we dont have the smell of pee in his room from this. i guess i need to clean the carpets again. one more thing on the list i guess.

we went paintballing on saturday. it it was so much fun. i have the most hideous battle wound that i have ever seen from a paint ball. it is about the size of my palm and at first made a target print on my leg with the initial paint ball spot in the middle followed by a white spot followed by a red ring and then it faded to blue and purple. now it is like a donut with a very dark purple, blue and black brusie with a small red spot in the middle. it is hard to explain i will try to put up pictures but no promises. my thighs arent what they used to be. it was fun though to paint ball. now Ethan runs around with the neighbor boys with buckets for helmets and part of a mat for a gun and occasionally they put on camo pajamas and say they are paintballing. it is a sight to see. kaylee gets in the action too sometimes.

Kaylee is pretty much potty trained and she turned 2 in june. it is really nice. she wears diapers at night but other than that and longer outings she is in underwear. she is such a funny girl. she tried to ride a trike down our neighbors driveway being the little daredevil she is and crashed at the bottom. luckily no blood just tiny scrapes. i am sure she will be back at it again soon enough. she will be the one to give me a heart attack. she is fearless.

Taylor is great minus not letting me have chocolate or milk. they tend to bother her stomach while she eats and i dont have the patience to put up with a crying baby for an hour so they are virtually eliminated from my diet. it is hard.

anyway, life is good and i am blessed with a great husband and family

till next time.....

renee